♥ Welcome to my sick and twisted mind ♥

aka my blog/possible dream diary?? Inspired by many other blogs/journals, this is where I post interesting stuff I do and what not and maybe even funny dreams whenever I get those.

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a spinning gif of a brightly colored 3d model house

♥ June 1st 2023

Happy pride month!!! Hope everyone's having a lovely start to their pride month. I've come to really not focus much on my sexual and gender indentity atleast publicly but here to announce just for this occassion alone I am a bigender neutrois girlthing, bisexual and on the ace spectrumn (I use bi and trans as kinda umbrella terms for my indentity as it's pretty complicated atleast how I view it)

I will hopefully do some sona art celebrating that soonish. Other than that look at my new computer wallpaper I made it myself

♥ May 29th 2023

Almost 2 days before pride month starts and aapi heritage month ends so I'll talk abt something related to both that's personal to me. Once in a while I like to scroll through lgbt topics/history specifically related to south east asia or singapore, the history behind it all is very interesting to as a queer in the simplest terms singaporean and you honestly just don't get to learn all about this stuff due to how much more popular western/specifically white american lgbt history is compared to other countries/cultures lgbt histories.

Throughout my deepdive I came across an archived page of all lgbt centric or related movies were made back in the 70s-80s since that was approximately when the queer, most notably gay and trans scene were rising, especially in areas like bugis street which was pretty much a transsexual hang out place! It makes me very happy seeing all these beautiful trans people hanging out but at the same time quite sad how most of my life I've been very envious of americans for the idea that being a white american was so much better than being asian and how I just never got very connected to people of my culture/asked questions or such, I mean I've pretty much lived my entire life consuming chinese culture and many other asian cultures but I still feel disconnected to my roots and history, especially relating to the asian queer scene in general and how much of that has been just, never been brought up ever... it's atleast comforting knowing this information now and I can only hope that people in general can learn and shed awareness of the rich lgbt history of other countries and cultures and stuff.

On a brighter note, here's the page I was referring to of those movies, I really would want to watch them sometime soon, perfectly for pride month even. I've been working more on art and I've actually have a lil project with a friend coming up soon. I might also make pride art for me specifically but yep.

♥ May 25th 2023

Mini vent cause I feel it's only best for myself to let these out somewhere instead if bottling it all up, maybe I'll delete this part of the blog later or something cause I don't like the idea of venting online. (vent text is censored/blurred)

Lately I've been feeling very ig?? Out of it, I'm not sure how to describe it it's like my brains on autopilot or like nobody's there. I also keep getting over paranoid abt stuff which kinda sucks, schizophrenia at work ig. I also feel bad cause I was kinda thinking abt how bad my writing/spelling is due to my dyslexia haha, I sound like an idiot sometimes.

Ok ig that made me feel a little better, anyways I'll try coding some stuff to take my mind off it, also cause I'm really anticipating the weekend/friday.

♥ May 22th 2023

Today marks the 4th day of my house plumbing not working, anyways been watching a bunch of stuff, here are some pre cool ones I've viewed recently:

The Red Eclipse! by Insane Inkorporated


Utsu Musame Sayuri/Striking Daughter Sayuri

I've also reinstalled both psychonauts 1 and 2 for the soon coming summer/june for my yearly 100% runs, plus the sexynauts being free + second sexynauts anniversary and some of my friends making neocities websites soon!! Very excited to say the least.

♥ May 20th 2023

I had a dream where my cat was popular and very well liked by everyone.

Also watched the dreamworks trolls movie, second movie is a pretty alright racism metaphor if you don't think too deeply about it but it's atleast loads better than what other movies have tried to do (ahem ahem looking at you disney/pixar)

♥ May 9th 2023

Been feeling rather lazy abour updating my site... I think it's mostly cause of all the thinking/planning I've been doing to revamp my site and such, I would've just downloaded my entire site to make it easier to work on in VS code but it seems like I have too many files I've uploaded/made to do that anymore (- -) . For revamping site plans atleast for the main homepage I wanna make a credits link to credit back to some of the sources I got some of my graphics from, as well as organizing the links page to be well more organized.

Apart from that, I've been thinking about food a lot, I love cooking but can't at the moment, hopefully in the future I can make some delicious recipes. Some meals I've been thinking about have been mostly asian food, one of which was cheese curry with salmon katsu yum... I think people who've never had authentic asian food or chinese food in my experience are missing out so much.

Anyways been planning on completing more original art for a batch I'm going to post and some woy art.

♥ May 7th 2023

Cleaned my room for today so it finally feels nice! I love cleaning/doing chores it's honestly just the sensory issues that kinda come with it, when I finally get a new phone/mp3 player it'd probably be more tolerable.

I've been binge watching a lot of Craig McCracken cartoons lately... FHFIF was one of my fav cartoons when I was younger and I might make a shrine for all the cartoons he made sometime soon. I finished Kid Cosmic recently with friends and holy shit that second to final episode of the last season made me tear up so bad, papa g 5ever. Also been binging Wander over Yonder, I'm in I say the middle of the first season so far.

I also watched Queer Duck the Movie, I've only seen a bit of the episodes but the only thing I kept saying when I was watching the movie was "this is so awesome". Overall general rating for it 8/10 some poorly aged jokes but that's kinda average for a piece of media from the early to mid 2000s. Good movie.

Last thing I'll say which I wanna save for another blog entry is that I've been thinking about revamping my site, generally to be a bit cleaner and possibly mobile friendly? I'll have to rework a lot of aspects with my vision so far but we'll see. I've also been thinking about getting neocities supporter not only for bigger file storage but also to get another site to make a more ig "professional" portofolio site and a custom domain name (as much as I hate the idea of professionalism and personal website together).

♥ May 1st 2023

Been really lazy about completing some art pieces right now but I swear I'll get back into it tomorrow. Been binging/watching some Craig McCracken cartoons, mostly Wander over Yonder and Kid Cosmic which I'm just 1 season away from completing. Also been drinking coffee quite a lot more this year, still prefer tea but I do like the taste (specifically sweetened coffee)

♥ April 27th 2023

Another late night blog/entry, honestly haven't been up to much lately as usual however I do wanna try to do more things tomorrow coming so I'll have that in mind.

One thing I've been craving and really procrastinating on in studying/basically home schooling myself, it'd probably be really useful just in general since I don't really do much atleast on weekdays. I've been eyeing on refreshing/catching up on basic topics like math in hopes of being the percentage of people who actually enjoy/can do math and other stuff like programming/computing as it is something i'd like to look into especially for a job. Also really wanna brush up and learn languages, I'm already super rusty on my chinese and portuguese plus I wanna learn/be multilingual, here's a kinda ambitious list of languages I wanna/plan on learning:

But yea, hopefully I finally fucking do something abt this and such but idk.

♥ April 25th 2023

Blog numba one, honestly didn't do much today but I did manage to update a few pages and make this one plus some other stuff I'll list rn. Also had a call with my friends which was fun.

Been making/testing out html/css layouts in VScode, I've had the idea of making tumblr themes/general layouts for a while and I've been thinking about possibly opening up coding comissions... I'll showcase my layouts I've been making soon.

I've also been playing a lot of animal jam classic lately due to my friends reactivating their og accounts, I've never had the oppurtunity to play any of the classic child mmos so this is kinda new to me. I've mostly just been focused on the mini games like pest control and gem breaker (I'm like actually addicted). I've been eyeing toontown coporate clash to play especially since the designs due tickle my interest but we'll see.

Lastly cause holy shit it's late rn and I'll probably regret it if I don't go the fuck to bed soon, been really into customising my computer/programs lately, I really love customizability especially with little stuff like this. Here's my current desktop rn

Anywaysss closing thoughts I'm having a huge craving for baked spaghetti and iced coffee/milo rn.